April 27: people from different planets

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Today’s post seems to be more about personal stuff than about business. However, it won’t be about me. I want to write about men and women. How different we are. And how important it is to understand it.

I’m always amazed by how men and women think about life. We are so dramatically different. We really ARE form the different planets. In just one text from a man a woman can see much more than this man ever thought of saying. A woman can see all that has happened after that text, and she reads between the lines. And all this rushes through her mind just in a few brief seconds after reading the text! Well, ladies, we all know what I’m talking about, don’t we?

Have you ever notice who posts life motivator quotes or psychology quotes on Facebook the most? Of course we do. We are so romantic, our imagination work much faster and it’s more colorful than men’s. I’m sure the ladies will smile now – who hasn’t ever happen to think on a first date about the names of your first kid (if you like the guy, of course).

At the same time, all that a man thinks is… you know what I’m talking about (of course, if he likes the girl).

I love visiting book store Barnes&Noble at Union Sq in NYC – it has that cozy environment (I have to admit, visits to book stores scare me a s well – every time I’m there I realize how much I still don’t know).

I was just there a few days ago and stopped at the “Self Help” section. Have you ever notice who blog 4:24hangs out there the most? You know the answer. Have you ever looked at their faces? God, every time I look at their desperate faces, hidden in a book with some magic words on the cover, like “become happy in 365 days” and so on ,I want to tell them: Darling, stop eating donuts, drinking wine alone and join the gym. Speaking for myself – treadmill is my best shrink. Doesn’t matter if I’m happy or sad – it’s the best way for me to feel better and increase my self-esteem.

At the same time, I’d like it when men start thinking like women, or at least try to. They don’t read such books, so they have no idea that when we are saying “No” it is more likely “Yes”. All what we try to say here is that you, darling, need to try harder.

And if we break up with you over the phone it doesn’t mean we want to end this. It means that we need something more from you, we need our relationship to be moving on.

I have a friend who’s girlfriend “broke up” with him over the phone. And his pride is so hurt by this now that he has “put her on hold” for one month to punish her! Seriously?! I tried to explain to him that she wants him to fight for her. It’s a game (unfortunately, we all play them). He just can’t get it. Too big an EGO.

I just finished reading one very nice and fun book about a young 30+ girl who lives and works in LA. And her brother always gives her real pieces of advise. I loved them. And here are some of them:

  • when we (men) ask you how your day was, we want you answer in three sentences or less. And we certainly don’t want to know hoe your friend’s day was. Seriously – the game is on in 2 minutes.
  • When you ask us, “What are you thinking about?” try to remember that once every 44 seconds, we are thinking about sex. So, the odds are not in our favor here that we’re going to look good in front of you when you ask that question.
  • We want to know how much you spent on clothes this month about as much as you want to know how much we spent on lap dance the last time we were in Vegas.
  • We do not notice if you gain five pounds. We very much notice if you gain 50. But seriously, men do not notice bodies as much as women think they do. What we notice is you’re confident, and happy with yourself, and at easy around us.
  • On the subject of 50 pounds: If you are going on a diet, fine. But don’t talk about it all the time.
  • We don’t send mixed signals. If you say, “How about Chinese food tonight?” and we say “Fine”, we mean “Fine”. So you can stop giving us ten more meal options.
  • Most of us really suck at romantic gesture. Those that don’t are not to be trusted.
  • We really don’t want to take the Cosmo quiz. If it’s important to you, we will, but just know than in the back of our minds it’s just to kill the time before we can have sex with you again.
  • We have female friends. Ignore When Harry Met Sally: we don’t want to sleep with all of our female friends. A a matter of fact, we chose the women we wanted as friends specifically because we didn’t want them sexually. We really don’t like Sex and the City. Sarah Jessica Parker scares us.
  • We would like you to see you wear more than once the lingerie you bought. Frankly, we’d like o see you walk around the house in it all the time.

Speaking of business – I’m always teaching my sales guys to differentiate every club tour, especially tours for men and women. Words, phrases, body language that sales persons chose for giving a tour to a woman must be different from a tour for a man. We are emotional. We like everything in color. We like speaking of the future. We all know the model of our wedding dress since we were 5.

I’m sorry if you we were expecting something more about business and industry. I wanted to write something like this for a while now, because every day I just can’t help noticing more and more how different we are! But you know what? We all have the same one desire – the desire to be in love and be happy.